Have you ever sat back and thought to yourself, “I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT LOVE IS”? You know what it looks like, feels like, and what it even acts like right? Yeah, we all have been down those roads of thoughts. Unfortunately, life has taught me that many of us got it all twisted though. Take a minute with me and just recap your life:
Has there been times where your love for a person was at its highest [ONLY] when they were doing right by you? If you answered [YES], then you might not know what love is. Was your love at its highest for that person when they did everything you asked them to do and exactly how you pictured them doing it? If you answered [YES], then you might not know what love is. Did you feel the same amount of love when they didn’t stop being friends with so and so or when they didn’t stop going places you didn’t approve of because you asked them to? If you answered [NO], then you might not know what love is. I can go on and on with the scenarios because I have seen a lot of different ones from people i personally know. Let’s not begin to speak of the millions of stories and scenarios about people’s relationships that I have learned about just through social media. Whether it was intimate, romantic, business, family, friends, or just cordial relationships. I have heard and have read about it all.
I’m not an expert by any means, and you will most likely hear me say this often. I know everyone’s situation is different so by no means am I saying what I have learned will always work for you in your situations. Trust and believe I am still a work-in-progress myself. Still learning and still bumping my head, but I encourage everyone that no matter how imperfect you are, still share the wisdom you have learned during your journey on this thing we call LIFE. There are people out there who need the help and the guidance from your mistakes and lessons learned.
Ok, back on subject. There is this thing called “Unconditional Love”. Ever heard of it? It’s a very offensive and high maintenance phrase. The phrase is so [mature] that most people will get offended as if you cursed them out to their face if you mention it to them. Unconditional love starts in the heart. [EVERYTHING] starts in the [HEART]. Many of us can’t give off to others what is not in our heart. Majority of us don’t even know how to love ourselves for who we are so we look for others to feel the void. We look to them to validate us and give us clarity on who we are. We act like adult-babies (my new-founded phrase) when we don’t get our way and when we can’t control people or situations. Most people are so non-accepting of others that we dismiss their views anytime they don’t line up with how we view something. We have a [CLEAR] understanding of what love is suppose to say and do when it comes to other people, but the mind stops working when it’s time to shine the light on how WE ourselves give love. This subject is so touchy & so broad that I know for sure there will be more blogs particularly on this topic in the future from me. Before I go, let me give you a few pointers on what I learned about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE:
- It HAS TO BE THE FOUNDATION for any relationship to grow and prosper
- It’s ACCEPTING PEOPLE FOR EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE when you meet them instead of trying to manipulate and change them
- It’s being a WONDERFUL LISTENER when others are expressing their views/thoughts
- It’s NOT HURTING THEM with your words just because you are in a miserable or bitter place
- It’s NOT THROWING THEM UNDER THE BUS when you are mad at them, and then make excuses of how you had every right to publicly embarrass them.
- It’s SPEAKING LIFE & ENCOURAGEMENT INTO THEIR SPIRIT even when you want to throw the whole person away
- It’s FORGIVING THEM even when they are too shameful to voice an apology right at the moment that you want one.
These are just to name a few, but i promise you, If you are not ready yet to deal with any selfish, bitter, angry, jealous, or childish ways when they show their ugly heads, then you may as well not even think about having any type of healthy relationship with anybody. No amount of tattoos, makeup, shopping, hair appts, likes, and social media views will save you from a miserable relationship if you’re not willing to put in the work it takes to check yourself, before trying to make others change what you can’t stand about them.
“Friends love in all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.” – Proverbs 17:17 MSG
It’s your TRAINING GROUND, so you choose whether you win or lose. – Brandy Yates