WHERE IT ALL STARTED:
For 17 years I was abused at home by my father. As the years went on I became more sad, angry, hurt and closed off. I was so alone. My family weren’t there for me as I would have liked to. My life was hell, but now I love my life and I’m glad I have been through what I have been through.
OVERCOMING MY TROUBLED CHILDHOOD:
I found many ways to escape the hell of a life I was living. From reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and going online. I found comfort in meeting people online. Being honest about my life to those people was a great comfort and a great weight off my shoulders.
No one understood why I spoke to strangers online, but it was a huge comfort for me. I even met my boyfriend online and we are now in a long distance relationship. I really couldn’t be happier.
For a long time I didn’t talk to anyone about how I felt. I talked about what I had been through to strangers, but never spoke to people close to me about how I felt. Being vulnerable was a big no-no for me. I hate showing off my feelings and looking weak.
MY LIFE CHANGING MOMENT:
Last year I began learning that I needed to talk. I needed to stop hurting the people I cared about. When I didn’t talk about how I felt, I would explode over the smallest things and lash out by saying or doing things that would upset the people I cared for.
THEN REALITY HIT ME:
**** I KNEW I NEEDED HELP ****
- I begun counseling and started to open up. This helped a lot with the way that I am now. The only person I truly talk to is my boyfriend Ryan and he helps me get through my hardest, down days. No matter how I’m feeling he always gets me to laugh and smile.
- To get over childhood trauma it takes a lot of time and patience.
- I don’t believe I will ever be 100% recovered from everything that I have been through, but I know that I can work through it with Ryan and work on making my life better and not let my past affect my future.